The California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem developed ten ways to help people feel better about themselves:
- Accept yourself. Every day when you get up, say to yourself, "I am a worthwhile and lovable person, no matter how many "mistakes" I make.
- Set realistic goals. Try to better yourself, but set goals that are within your reach. For example, if you want to stop smoking and go on a diet, do not try both at the same time.
- Forgive yourself and others. Remind yourself: "Today is the first day of the rest of my life." Forgive yourself and others, and let go of past feelings of guilt and resentment. Get on with your life.
- Express your feelings. Start by being honest with yourself. Next, find someone you trust, such as a spouse, a parent, a close friend, or your Taekwondo instructor, and tell him or her how you feel. Truthfully express your feelings this way and you will slowly build confidence.
- Trust yourself and others. Make an agreement with yourself to be more responsible. Do something simple like getting up at a certain time in the morning. When you do it a few times, you will begin to trust yourself in situations that are more important.
- Take appropriate risks. Go back to school. Seek a better job. If you do not take chances, you will be in the same old rut.
- Tap you creativity. Everyone is creative, but we stifle our creativity because we are afraid of failure. Force yourself to keep at it until you get it right. Most of all; have fun.
- Find your spirituality. We can all increase our self-esteem by realizing we are accepted and loved by the Creator, exactly as we are.
- Eliminate negative thoughts. You damage your self-esteem by allowing your mind to be filled with negative thoughts such as "I'm a terrible worker" or "I'm too fat."
- Like your body. Your health and appearance are important parts of your self-esteem. Accept the things you cannot change, such as your height. Work to change the things you can, such as being overweight.
You are not doing anyone a favor by telling them they are doing a good job when they are not. You are not helping children by protecting them from failure. Self-esteem comes from trying new things, accepting failure, and then trying and accomplishing another new thing, and from accepting that you may not be good at everything but that you can be good at something.