Verbal Defense

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I feel very sorry for you because you are so ugly, but I feel ever sorrier for myself because I have to look at you.

If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents libel/

If I were as ugly as he is, I wouldn't say hello to people, I'd say boo!

I've hated your looks from the very start they gave me.

I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

People clap when they see you; they clap their hands over their eyes.

Whooey! When he fell out of the ugly tree, boy did he hit every branch on the way down.

You have a face only a mother could love, and even she hates it!

In fact, he has the perfect weapon against muggers, his face!

You're so ugly when you went to the haunted house they offered you a job.

You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.

Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. Your body is damned ugly, too.

You are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

Grasp your ears firmly and pull; you might just be able to remove your head from you ass.

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

Don't feel bad, a lot of people have no talent, and you're most of them!

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you ?

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them. -- Jonathan Swift

You tweachewous miscweant! -- Elmer Fudd

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already, without your putting in so much effort to give us another?

He has depth, but only on the surface. Deep down inside, he is shallow.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?

You are such a smartass, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavor it is.

If I want any shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.

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