Verbal Defense

Sometimes conflict may be a battle of words, rather than blows. To be a warrior, you must be able to defend yourself both ways. Here are some insults and comebacks from some of the best verbal warriors.

• A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
• Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.
• Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
• He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory.
• He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
• I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
• He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly & Moe.
• I'll bet he opens the post with that nose!
• I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.
• Is that your nose, or are you eating a banana?
• The next time you shave, could you stand an inch or two closer to the razor please?
• This person is without doubt the worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe.
• Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.
• She's so ugly, when she was a little girl, they had to put a pot roast in their lap so the dog would play with her. What a shame the mutt got carried away! still, the chewed-up look is in this season.
• How can you love nature, when it did that to you?
• Hey, don't you need a license to be that ugly?
• Every girl has the right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused the privilege.
• See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
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