Jokes
de ja fu. The feeling that somewhere, somehow, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
Mahatma Ghandi was a very spiritual person who walked barefoot everywhere, to the pint that is feet became quite thick and hard. Due to his diet, he was thin and frail and had bad breath. Mary Poppins said he was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
I have the body of a god—Buddha
Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.” The police noted “thief had De Gaulle to ask to be released.” Hey, he figured he had nothing Toulouse.