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When you say "no one's perfects", black belts take it as a personal insult.
If you work in an office with a black belt, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
When a black belt orders a steak, the steak does as it was told.
Black belts use Tabasco sauce instead of Visene.
A man once claimed a black belt kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false – once is sufficient.
Black belts see dead people.
If a black belt wants your opinion, he will beat it into you.
They once made black belts toilet paper, but there was a problem—it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
"Sweating bullets” is what occurs when you point a gun at a black belt.
Black belt do not daydream, they cause nightmares.
Black belts never have heart attacks; their hearts are not foolish enough to attack them.
There are no lesbians, just women who have never met a black belt.
Why did the black belt cross the road? No one knows. No one has ever dared question his motive.
Black belts do not ask, "Who's your daddy?" They already know the answer.
The pen is mightier than the sword—if the pen is held by a black belt.
Black belts know the last digit of pi.