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What are Black Belts?

  • On a crowed sidewalk, a black belt does not walk around people; they walk around her. 
  • A black belt can play Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and win. 
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas when they sleep. Superman wears a black belt.
  • Black belts keep their friends close and their enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with side kick to the face.
  • Black belts do not stub their toes; they accidentally destroy things.      
  • Black belts can slam a revolving door.                        
  • Black belts do not step on toes; they step on faces.        
  • A study showed the leading causes of death are heart disease, cancer, and black belts.
  • Once you go black belt, you can never go back.
  • What is the last thing you hear before a black belt kicks you? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
  • Black belts do not play god. Playing is for children.     
  • Black belts perform a public service by donating dead bodies for scientific research. 
  • When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds," he was not referring to the atomic bomb; he was referring to black belts.
  • If at first you don't succeed, you are not a black belt. 
  • Black belts can smell fear. They can also smell hope, as in "I hope he lets me live." 
  • Behind every successful man is a good woman. Behind every black belt is a good instructor.
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