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Hatred is self-defeating. Admiral Stockdale states:

"We can't prevent anger sometimes. It can be a healthy reaction to the twists and turns we face in life. But, if you allow it to develop into bitterness or hatred, anger becomes a destabilizing emotion. Harnessing it gives you power."

"I realized after being tortured beyond the point of human endurance, that I had to find a way to outsmart them. So I learned to harness my anger as a tool rather than as a weapon they could us against me. That started with resisting self-pity and by becoming fully engaged with my comrades—helping others and being encouraged by them."

If you get angry when something does not go your way, do not feel sorry for yourself, do not try to "get even", instead, say "I'll show them, I'll be a success in spite of them!" and then charge on even harder than before.

Do not worry about things you cannot control. Admiral Stockdale states: 

"We spend most of our lives dealing with situations we didn't cause. As a result, we burn a lot of nervous energy worrying about things ultimately not determined by us. There is, however, one important thing we have the choice to control—our attitude."

"In my case, locked up and hungry, never knowing when I would be called next for torture, the tension was unbearable. I realized that I couldn't allow myself to waste precious energy worrying about what would happen anyway. To prevail, I had to find a way to take charge. For instance, when interrogators pressured me to make propaganda exhibits, I would stand up and challenge them: "No way. Come here and fight." I knew they could slam me into ropes and steel bars, making me scream like a baby, but I knew they couldn't take me before cameras if I showed signs of torture."

If there is nothing you can do about something, then try to minimize your damages and keep going. If there is something you can do about it, then do it; do not sit around and complain.

Courage is endurance in the presence of fear. Admiral Stockdale states:

 "We all—whether in school or business, the military or the neighborhood—face pressure in our lives when people try to manipulate us through fear or guilt. Guilt can mean feeling inadequate; feeling that we never measure up to expectations or that ‘I'm not good enough.’ Fear or failure can be a great motivator, but if those feelings get out of control, they can destroy you."

"In the prisons of Hanoi, at one time or another, all of us were forced to submit under brute force. Our captors went to great lengths, alternating force with suggestions of ‘be reasonable’ or ‘meet us halfway’ to get a man to compromise his honor, if only a little. Like drug-dealers, they knew that if a man begins to compromise, then gets depressed and full of guilt, he can be brought under their control."

Strong leaders do not let things keep them down. We all have things in life that cause us pain or depress us, but the strong do not let these things keep them down. They get back up, get back on track, and are better for it.

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