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It is not the biggest or the baddest who wins the girl, the big contract, the game, or the fight—it is the toughest! How tough are you?

To handle any confrontation, you must know what to do (know what techniques to use), be capable of doing it (be able to perform the techniques effectively), and be willing to do it (have the courage to do what is necessary). If any one of these elements are missing, you will probably not handle the confrontation and will suffer the consequences. To handle a confrontation you must be tough enough to face it and do what is necessary, no matter how distasteful that may be.

Toughness is not being a bully or always trying to intimidate people by looking and acting big and bad. Toughness is enduring stressful circumstances without complaint or excuse and doing the best you can under the circumstances, even while sick, injured, in pain, or emotionally distraught.

Toughness is often thought of as being a physical characteristic. While being physical tough is certainly important, in the real world, it is not the only requisite; you must also be mentally and emotionally tough. Toughness is not no just being able to resist physical, mental, or emotional stress; it is also being able to recover quickly from these stresses.

I had a Shiba Inu dog that weighted 25 pounds, looked like a miniature Akita, and was so adorable that, when people saw him in the car with me, they would stop me in traffic to inquire about him. However, he was also a very dominate male. When any dog, no matter the size or temperament, approached him, he never showed fear. He just stood his ground and displayed the behavior that let other dogs know that he was the boss. He did not want to fight them and they did not want to fight him; they just knew from his demeanor that he was not to be messed with. Submissive dogs were allowed to approach him, but other dominant dogs just walked away. Toughness does not mean you are violent; it means you will not submit to violence. When you are tough, violent people sense it and tend to leave you alone.

Toughness is associated with talent and skill. Talent is a genetic propensity that defines the upper limit of your physical, mental, or emotional toughness. It is something you are born with, it cannot be acquired through training. You may never have used it but it lies away in your inner being, similar to a sleeping lion, waiting to be awakened for battle. If you choose to use a talent, it may be developed through skill training.

A skill is a thought process or movement that may be developed through repetition and practice, such a taekwondo side kick or being tough. You may develop a skill up to the limit of your talent. For example, all martial artists may develop their jumping skills but the one with a talent for jumping will develop quicker and will usually always jump higher when performing a jump-spin kick.

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