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Why do people cling so tightly to their beliefs, in the face of incontrovertible evidence that they are wrong? Why do they get so angry when others point out that their arguments are factually and logically incorrect? Some of these people are the so-called "peaceniks" who believe that violence is never the answer, no matter the circumstances.

How may you communicate with these people who seem to be out of touch with reality and rational thought? One way is to understand their psychological processes. Once you understand why these people behave so irrationally, you may communicate more effectively with them.

Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological mechanisms that protect us from feelings that we cannot consciously accept. They operate without our awareness, so that we do not have to deal consciously with "forbidden" feelings and impulses.

Nowadays, children are taught not to express negative emotions or aggression. Instead of learning that such emotions are normal but need to be controlled, children now learn that feelings of anger are evil and dangerous and deserve severe punishment. To protect themselves from "being bad," they are forced to use defense mechanisms to avoid owning their own normal emotions.

Defense Mechanisms

Some defense mechanisms are:

Projection. This involves unconsciously projecting your own unacceptable feelings onto other people; you do not have to own them. For example, some fear that people who learn the martial arts may lose their temper in an argument and physically attack someone. They think that since they might lose control of their own anger that others might do the same. Projection is a particularly insidious defense mechanism, because it not only prevents a person from dealing with his or her own feelings, it also creates an attitude where he or she thinks everyone else is directing his or her own hostile feelings back at him or herself.

All people have violent, and even homicidal, impulses. For example, it is common to hear people say "I am so mad I could to kill!" They do not mean it; they are simply acknowledging their anger and frustration. Most people acknowledge feelings of rage, fear, frustration, jealousy, etc. without acting on them in inappropriate or destructive ways. However, some people are unable consciously to admit that they have such emotions. They may believe that "good people" never have such feelings, when in fact all people have them. Many times, these people have higher than average levels of emotions and fear that if they acknowledge their hostile feelings; they may lose control and really will hurt someone.

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